I think it takes a long time for grief to affect me.

A couple of days ago I came home from work to hear a really eerie and frightening message on my answering machine from my mother. "Hey honey, it's your mother. Give me a call when you get this, I've got some really bad news." She was in tears when she called, so I was really nervous to find out what'd happened. So I called her back immediately, and I found out that one of our dogs had gotten into a fight with the great dane that my parents own and had been killed. We've had that dog for several years, and it was pretty upsetting to find out that he'd died.

However, my first thought was, "I'm glad nothing majour had happened," when she told me that. As upset as I was, I wasn't as upset as she was in that moment.

Now, several days later, however, I've been crying off and on over it. I don't want to deal with the image of him lying on the carpet in a pool of blood. Apparently the great dane had hit a majour artery in his neck when he bit him. He died pretty quickly, thankfully. My parents decided to get rid of the great dane, though, because they were dumbstruck that he'd done that. He's never really bitten anybody before, and he's always been a really gentle dog. And the two of them have been around each other for nearly four years, without a single problem. So this was pretty unexpected.

But it's taken four days for me to actually get upset about this. I'm always like this. Something bad happens in my life, and it takes me several days/months before it upsets me. I don't know if this delayed reaction type thing is supposed to be a defense for me, but I don't see how it helps in general.

I don't have much more to say. I just wanted to get that off of my mind.

sunday is gloomy
my hours are slumberless
dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless

Entry last modified: April 16, 2006 at 6:23 pm.

Comments for new visitors are moderated and will not appear immediately. There's no need to submit more than once.