I feel a marginal amount better, even though work today was shitty. And it will be shitty again tomorrow. I want a new job so desperately. I need to get paid more. So that I can pay my bills AND buy groceries. Not have to pick between the two. But everything sucks, and nobody wants to hire me because I'm a minor. Pah.

Eddie never called or came over or anything. So I guess I won't see him again. While that upsets me some, I guess it's good. Because I was developing feelings for him too quickly, and while I rarely have that problem, I realize that it's better to get him out of my life before I get attached and get hurt when he doesn't feel the same way.

However, in a moment of sluttiness I went out with somebody else that same night as the last journal entry. We didn't have sex, and insted just ended up cuddling until we fell asleep. A rather interesting way to meet somebody, I imagine. But he seemed nice, and I hope to see him again. We're supposed to meet up this weekend for lunch. I hope so. We'll see.

But sometimes I wonder if perhaps it would be best for my spiritual evolution if I just leave boys alone for a little while. Sigh. Maybe after this try.

Maybe after one more try…

someday we'll all be gone
but lullabies go on and on
they never die, that's how you and I
will be

Entry last modified: January 30, 2007 at 4:12 pm.

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