Had a pretty shitty day, but thankfully it was the end (at least I hope) to the shit of yesterday. Okay, here's a breakdown. Our McDonalds is up for evaluation or something like that. So this anal-retentive bitch from "McDonalds headquarters" comes in and evaluates how we run the store.

In this case, "evaluating" meant standing in front of me for seven hours timing every order I took. EVERY order. She timed how long it took me to take the order, get their money and change, give them their food, then move on to the next customer. It was only nerve wracking in the beginning.

Needless to say, I've been stressed out. Couple that with working two ten hour shifts with this woman and you have a real mess. Yes, yes. It means more money for me. But more money is irrelevent when you have to pay as much on bills and rent as I do. I work my ass off, I come home tired and drained of everything, and I still have barely enough money for anything (and I don't know how anything will be paid this month) and, to top it off, we have no food. No groceries at all. Jackie and I ate instant mashed potatoes from a bag of food-bank food I remembered my mom gave us when we moved in.

It makes me want to start crying, really. But I'm going back to the "my life is so unfair" rant, and I just can't take that right now. I need a new job but I can't find one, and I'm almost broken enough to give in and apply for the shitty job in a restaurant near my house that pays a dollar more than I make right now. But the work will be worse. Sigh. I don't know. Something will happen, I guess, because it seems that my soul is one that will be forever dipped into shit and pulled out just before I drown in it. What was that proverb in the bible? Was Jove (Jobe?) the guy who had lots of crap all through his life just cos God was testing him?

I don't remember; it's been an incredibly long time since I've actually looked at a bible, christian or otherwise. I'm just so tired and frustrated and looking for a way out, but nothing's there. I'm all alone in the darkness.

"There were people, some people
Who broke the string for me
And so
This place is now a sad place for me,
Because the string is broken."

I did do something pretty new, however. I had some time earlier in the week and I sat in front of my keyboard and started playing. I used to do this a lot. I would set the computer to start recording and I would record whatever mess came up out of my hands, unedited, and then I'd play it back later. Just to see what I did.

This time, though, I set up a cheesy drum track more for the purposes of keeping timing than anything else. And I started recording with that in the background. I like what I produced. Enough to offer you the shitty MIDI file that I made:

Sailing on a Broken Cloud.mid - 15kb, (2:56 long)

I am aware that the title is ridiculous and video-game-esque, but the song lends itself pretty well to it. That midi is the original recording. I didn't do anything to it at all, except erase one note where I'd hit a key by accident. Other than that, I left all the other mistakes in (as I'm sure you can hear.) If the MIDI doesn't work, sorry. You're welcome to email me and I'll let you know if I can do anything for you.

However, I think I'm going to go to sleep now. I've got work again tomorrow, and I'm not free again until Sunday. But I don't even know if I'm free then, either.

Ugh. Somebody, somewhere, please do something….

Entry last modified: September 30, 2007 at 8:41 pm.

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