Warning: Plausable concern for TMI. [Too much information.] Read journal entry at your own risk.
I have just completed the second totally unfufilling sexual experience of my life.
I met this boy on AOL. Yeah, I'm a big slut. I've been craving sex desperately ever since Kyle and I broke up and I could actually go and get it if I wanted to. And maybe I should've taken the hint when try after try failed. But I didn't, and now I am in this situation. I met him a couple days ago. He seemed cute. I didn't care if he was nice; I was going purely for the physical. Ofcourse, I wasn't going to fuck some asshole either. Eh… that was a pun and totally unintented.
Anyway, he had no car. I shelved him. Then earlier last night he IMed me, around eleven or so. He'd take a cab to see me if I wanted. I said okay and eventually the plans were set and he was on his way. He got here close to one. Taking into account the fact that the way you look in pictures is generally always different than in person, he still looked pretty cute. An inch shorter than me, green eyes. He looked preppy. I like preppy.
The bad part started when clothes began to come off. First, when he got here, he was wearing a hat. At the time I thought little of it, but now I know it was to hide the fact that he is fucking BALDING. At nineteen. And I know he's nineteen, because while he was asleep I snuck and checked his wallet. What, you don't think I know to do these things? And his clothes, which when on somehow made him look muscular, exposed his overweightness quite clearly once they came off.
But hey, I have been working on my superficiality, right? It didn't bother me too much. I made my little inward Marge Simpson verbal frown (Mmmm…) but continued anyway.
The sex was awful. Circumsized guys really, seriously, have no idea at all how to handle a guy who is uncircumsized. Take this to heart, boys of the world- go fucking read about them. I feel like a woman having to fake an orgasm pretty much any time a cut guy tries to get me off. It doesn't feel good because it is, by far, more sensitive than yours. A lot of the time it hurts.
He said things. "Oh, that's fucking hot." "Do me, daddy." Dirty talk. Shit like that. I. of all things that go on in sex. abhour dirty talk. If that's what I want I'll pay $3.99 the first minute and .99 for each additional minute.
I got no oral. At all. Barely any foreplay. He wanted me to fuck him practically immediately. I knew that it would be a bad idea. I have stamina like a monster during foreplay. I would never orgasm. But the first time I actually fuck, it doesn't take me long at all to come. And the way I am, only under certain circumstances is sex appealing enough after I orgasm to repeat it. Like with Eddie. We fucked like rabid bunnies. Because he made me comfortable and did none of the things I hate.
So, I gave in. Figured, what the hell. Got out the lube, condoms, went on ahead. I had thrusted three times when he came. I was dumbfounded. I was not even really INSIDE. AHH. He made the stupidest expression, moaned, and came. In less than three seconds.
In the face of that, how could I finish? He wanted me to. I apologised, told him some bullshit about how I'd rather make him feel good. Lied through my teeth.
It was now one-thirty. The entire thing, stripping to foreplay to fucking, had taken half an hour.
It takes me that long to masturbate.
So I put my underwear back on and laid down. He didn't try to cuddle at first and thank god for him. He would've been cut. However, I could get no absolution because a little later he rolled over and tried to hold me.
I wasn't gonna do that. First night ever have I had sex and not wanted to cuddle after. That makes me sad. I got up, put on my clothes, grabbed my journal and went into the living room. Bitched and bitched and bitched into it until three thirty.
When I went back in to go to sleep, I could hear him from outside the hall. Snoring. Louder than Kathryn and my brother combined. I wanted to shoot him. As soon as I laid down he latched onto me and I wanted to cry, but instead did a trance meditation and somehow got calm enough to fall asleep.
However, it was not deep nor restful. He had fucking Tourret's syndrome or something, because he kept twitching. Rather violently. I was worried for a while and I woke him up and he didn't know what I was talking about. So I ignored it. Then he started talking in his sleep. It started with him laughing big and loudly. Then words. And conversations. And arguements. I wanted to punch him in the face until he shut up.
He was supposed to be gone by nine am. At seven I had enough and I woke his ass up. Told him I had to run errands and he had to go now. So he showered and I think maybe he got the hint because he left.
I have never had a night so horrible before. Except the time I did that shit with Megan's friend Brian, the psycho army stalker. That was the first sexually unsatisfying experience of my life.
So I have come to a decision in the wake of this. I came to it last night, while he was twitching and snoring. That it's not worth it. Those three seconds are not worth it. The only sex that I'm going to have will be with a boyfriend. It will not be meaningless, drunken, gone-in-LESS-THAN-sixty-seconds sex. It will be boyfriend sex. I'm not going to have another night like that again.
No more AOL chatrooms. In fact, no using the internet in general to find guys. I have enough chances for real interaction in my day-to-day life if I ever acted on it. Online people are not worth it. Well, unless this one thing pans out in the (positive) direction that I'd like it to.
And so ends Josh's slutty phase. I learned my lesson. If last night was my punishment then I will never repeat that episode ever, ever again.
In final news, some fucker neighbour stole my laundry basket last night. I was washing clothes and I stepped out for less than ten minutes and when I came back, the basket was missing. I'm livid. I don't appreciate people taking my property. I wrote a really bitchy-yet-tasteful note and left it on the door to the washing facility. Jackie gave it her blessing.
I hate people right now.
if you feel like leaving
I'm not gonna make you stay
Entry last modified: April 17, 2006 at 10:55 am.
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