I made it. My flight was good, I took lots of pictures of the clouds and such. Wasn't nearly as traumatic as the first time I got in a plane. Officially, I've flown six times now. Though only to two different places, heh.

And I am in Florida now. Safe and sound. Despite what my parents believe, I am not modeling thongs in the basement of someone's house. And no, I'm not being forced to type that either.

I'm having fun. This looks good.

22 November 2002 at 6:49 pm | No Comments »
hear ye!

In what was my first act of defiance/rebellion against my parents as an adult, while I was in the mall today I happened upon a store with the words Ear piercings! in the window and decided, what the hell?

click for larger image

I actually really like the way they look. I want to get hoops but I'm going to have to wait six weeks for that. Alas.

Okay. This is likely my last post until I get to Florida. Mwah. I love you all, I shall see you soon. Goodbye.

20 November 2002 at 5:33 pm | No Comments »
shutterbugs

I have a funny little feeling in my stomach. One I haven't felt in a long time. I guess you could call it butterflies, but I don't know if that's exactly fitting. It feels like possibilities. Like I am standing on a raised platform and right beneath me is the entire world laid out at my feet. Saying. Just pick a place and it's yours. It makes me feel giddy.

I have a long day today. I have to finish my packing. Well. Start my packing. And I'm going to spend most of the day with a friend of mine. Then, unless I've been fired, I've got work at night. And I come home, wrap up whatever else I need to prepare, shower, and sometime around four in the morning I'm gonna head off to the airport. My mom says she'll take me but I don't expect that to happen, so I will likely be taking a cab there. All by myself. That in itself frightens me.

As much as I go on about being an adult and all, I'm still miraculously unprepared for it. Yeah, fending for myself for a year did a lot to mature me, but I still lack a lot of important adult-related skills. Like I'm going to have a panic attack in the airport if even the slightest thing goes wrong. If my friend is late. If my luggage disappears. Just because that's what I do when I'm forced to completely go out and do something on my own.

I can do it fine as long as it runs smoothly. But if I hit a bumb. Well. It freaks me out. This is my little thing to work on. Coping skills.

A friend of mine remixed a song I wrote. The original was four and a half minutes and the remix is eight. It is AWESOME. I can't even put that in words. I'm so impressed. At some point, perhaps when I finish recording the original's vocals, I will put them online. Because I'd like to start showcasing more of my music.

Okay. To sleep I must go now. Time is going by really quickly for some reason. I laid down at two thirty and in the blink of an eye it was four. And now it's four thirty, just in the time it took me to finish this post. And it didn't seem to take that long.

Perhaps it's because I'm just so excited. We shall see. Goodnight everybody! I shall return.

20 November 2002 at 4:24 am | No Comments »
the daily things

I'll be leaving sometime late Wednesday evening/early Thursday morning for my very much deserved vacation to Florida. I'm excited and giddy and giggly and everything. I realized this yesterday; my entire mood and everything has been a hundred times better now that the trip is in just a couple days. And I'm finally getting out of here. Among other things.

So, I may not update much or at all while I'm there. It'll all depend on what I feel like at the time. Just a warning.

19 November 2002 at 1:43 pm | No Comments »
hear ye!

• Bryan Adams feat. Melanie Chisholm
  ("On a Day Like Today")
  You need to download Flash if you see this message.

I've been wandering around the house all night
wondering what the hell to do
I'm trying to concentrate but all I can think of is you
well the phone don't ring cos my friends ain't home
I'm tired of being all alone
got the TV on cos the radio's playing
songs that remind me of you

baby, when you're gone
I realize I'm in love
the days go on and on
and the nights just seem so long
even food don't taste that good
drink ain't doing what it should
things just feel so wrong, baby when you're gone

I've been driving up and down these streets
trying to find somewhere to go
yeah I'm looking for a familiar face
but there's no one I know

oh, this is torture, this is pain
it feels like I'm gonna go insane
I hope you're coming back real soon
cos I don't know what to do….

_{happy 10/18.}

19 November 2002 at 1:02 am | No Comments »
soundtrack

I figured it would happen today, as the trend this week has been favourable. But last night at approximately 1137 PM, for the first time in nearly a year, I got a hundred hits on this site.

Mwah. I love you guys.

18 November 2002 at 3:59 am | No Comments »
shutterbugs

Fog filled our eyes,
and we were returned to the island,
with the singing girl still singing.
She's still smiling,
and perhaps
now
we have some idea why.
"Think of all the beauty still left
around you
and be happy,"
said someone who probably knows better than you, or me.
The water's no longer red, or fiery.
It's blue, sparkling, and tranquil.
Remember all that you've seen
and all that you haven't yet, says the girl.
Fireworks explode overhead
(remember drama?)
and now we're supposed to have felt
like we've passed a test.
Quickly, before the poem ends,
and you wake from its spell:

In the beginning there was darkness,
and darkness will return.

But who will still stand to fight it?

17 November 2002 at 1:33 pm | No Comments »
poetry/prose

Everyone, meet my new baby:

It was some what of a birthday present. I love it so much and we're gonna get married somewhere, cos I'm sure if they'll acknowledge a gay marriage in some state they'll acknowledge a gay-and-laptop marriage somewhere.

I know this because I had a friend who became an ordained minister via a letter type thing, and married his friend to a can of Sprite. So. There's nothing stopping me and the love I have for my laptop.

Anyway, I forgot to put the final part of Multiplicity yesterday, so you can get it now. Au revoir.

17 November 2002 at 1:11 pm | No Comments »
shutterbugs

Okay, so I know by now you've all noticed these little icons sprouting up here for webcam sites. The reason for this is not that now I can legally participate in the porn industry, but because I wanted to draw more traffic for the website.

And so far it's done a great job of that. Traffic's nearly doubled since I installed the damn things.

But there's another part to it. I want to be first on these lists. Or at least in the top ten. I'm doing a nice job so far, but the way the system works is I only get a "point" if someone clicks on the icon to go IN to the webcam site. Not if they come here from there.

So this is my request. Anybody who comes here, however often, however long. It would mean lots and lots and lots to me if you'd click on any of the icons right beneath the webcam picture to vote. Click on the icon, then click where it says "enter to vote" or something like that. It's pretty easy. Then I'll get more traffic. And more people will read what I have to say. And I will become famous.

And I'll give out lots of kisses to everyone who does it. Like, lots. I promise.

So please. It'll take a second, and it'll make me really bouncy if you do. Thanks a lot.

16 November 2002 at 6:33 pm | No Comments »
hear ye!

• Bjork
  ("Selmasongs")
  You need to download Flash if you see this message.

black night is falling
the sun is gone to bed
the innocent are dreaming
as you should, sleepy-head

all the love above
I send into you
comfort and protection
I'll watch over you

but don't ask me
what's gonna happen next
I know the future
I'd love to lead you the way
just to make it easier on you

you are gonna have to find out for yourself

my

dearest

scatterheart

there is comfort
right in the eye
of the hurricane
just to make it easier on you

you are gonna have to find out for yourself

all the hurt in the world
you know
there's nothing I'd love to do more
than spare you from that burden
it's gonna be hard

if I only could
shelter you
from that pain
just to make it easier on you

you are gonna have to find out for yourself

16 November 2002 at 2:07 pm | No Comments »
soundtrack