I just applied for another temp agency. But this one went really well, and I believe I've got a job. I have to call monday morning to set up an appointment, but the lady I spoke with said I would likely have the job in a week or so.

I'm crossing my fingers big time.

I used the very last dime I had today to send Verizon a fax containing my information so they could hook up my phone line. I'm supposed to get a cheque from my last temp job, but they're idiots and they mailed it out when I told them I'd come in to pick it up. So I'm very, very broke right now.

But at least I've got the good, strong chance of a job coming up.

And that makes me feel so much better.

And in other news, apparently some building on 80th street collapsed while I was at the job interview. I dunno what's up with it, and I haven't been able to find any news casts about it yet. But they suspended all northbound subways on the specific line in that area, so it must've been big.

Ah well. I'm heading out now. Time for another big adventure in the city.

31 January 2003 at 4:55 pm | No Comments »
hear ye!

I think of all the subway stations I've been to so far, my favourite is definately the one at fourteenth street and 8th avenue. Littered all along the station are these tiny bronze figurines whose purpose I still have not discovered. They're all in odd, unique positions, and they're just adorable as fuck. I love them.

Also, there's this girl. Who plays saxiphone at the staircase leading down to the L train. And I see here there every now and then, and she reminds me of the character Juliana Hatfield played in that christmas episode of My So Called Life. Every time I see her she smiles at me while she's playing. There's a very ethereal quality to her.

Brooklyn Teacher never called me back. I called him last night and left a message, and I've still not heard from him. But last night I went out with a guy who actually turned out to be quite nice. We talked and he made me sing for him, and we ate and this morning he got me breakfast.

Now I just need to find a job, and life will be excellent.

30 January 2003 at 4:12 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

I haven't updated here recently not out of lack of content (cos boy, had I been updating, you would have seen content), but because he was reading it, and I felt some subconscious urge to censor myself because I was afraid he would critiscise what it was that I decided to write up here.

But, (encore!) fuck him. As he claims he no longer wants to talk to me anymore, I assume that will extend over to this website. And if it doesn't, serves him right for continuing to read it.

That having been said, I have two stories of Josh's debauchery to share.

I'll start with this weekend. A friend of mine, a model/actour/singer (yes, half of New York City) took me out to three of New York's clubs. First we went to a bar named Pieces, where we met a couple of his other friends, one of whom was a writer for a local gay magazine up here titled HX Magazine. He was british. He was goddamn sexy. So after we got introduced we spent the night flirting with each other. I'd look over at him and he'd smile, I'd catch his eyes and we'd stare at each other for a bit. We danced. After we left Pieces, we went to another club called Stonewall, which apparently has historical significance in gay culture, since a riot there caused the start of the gay rights "revolution."

The things you learn, huh? I have a hard time visualizing an army of homosexuals rioting against the police, but maybe that's just me.

Stonewall sucked, but we got in for free since British Sex God worked for the magazine, and we also had an unlimited bar tab. So we left and finally ended up at this club in the East Village aptly titled, the Cock, which is apparently a raunchy sex bar on Sunday nights. This, however unfortunate, was a Saturday, so no such acts were taking place in the back room.

Though British Sex God (heretofore known as BSG) and I kissed at some point. And it was a nice kiss. We were in the middle of the dance floor and he slowly moved to my face and the music picked up and the room spun, and it was pretty movie-esque. The only sad part was that I didn't want to think of how many other guys he'd been with in that same spot, replaying that same scene. Cos I knew whatever we did would be a one-night-stand sortof thing. But for the time being it was nice to revel in the illusion.

And yes, we had sex. He went back to my apartment and we fooled around for four hours, and it was great, and I really needed it, because I missed having good sex. Cough. But to further that random-trick mentality, he didn't give me his number when he left (after staying the night) around ten in the morning. I imagine I'll see him again, but how do you tell a one-night-stand that you want to see them for another night?

Second story of Josh's sluttiness: Monday I decided to go out to the New York Public library. Unfortunately it was closed, but as I was going home around five PM, a cute boy got on the subway somewhere between 42nd and 125th streets. He was shorter than me, with black hair and really interesting looking eyes. He was gorgeous too. I watched him and I noticed that he was watching me too. I'd look away, but he didn't. So we spent the majourity of the subway ride looking at each other.

Fast forward some. Yes, I picked a boy up off of the subway. Or, I guess, I got picked up off of the subway.

His apartment was two or three blocks from mine, and as I was following him back there we started talking. He teaches music at a school in Brooklyn, and he's twenty-seven (BSG was twenty-eight). He was a very funny and interesting person, and when we got back to his apartment instead of random-trick sex, we sat on the sofa and watched reruns of the Golden Girls and Seventh Heaven. And then he made me pasta.

And all of this amused me to no end. Because only I could go pick someone up on a subway and have pasta cooked for me at their house.

Yes, we did have sex, but it only took place at the very end of our night together. And he did give me his number.

So, let's watch these new developments. Mygod, my life has become all the more strange since I moved here.

29 January 2003 at 4:07 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

I just got back from an audition. A friend of mine and I went out to the Gay and Lesbian community centre this weekend– the first and only time since getting here that I've been. It turned out to be a bit of a chance happening, as I happened to see a flyer tacked up there advertising auditions for the "Gay Gotham Chorus," a choir up here which is apparently very big. So I decided to go to the audition, which occured today, and I'm very glad I did.

Because I floored them when I sang. And I got the spot of a tenor. Without a call back, without an additional audition, and only after singing half of one song.

That is enough to make my head high all week.

My first rehearsal is tuesday. It feels good to be a part of something again, already.

28 January 2003 at 8:01 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

Well, it took me for goddamn ever, but I'm finally here to update what's happened in the nearly two weeks since I arrived in New York City.

It's been hectic. That's the easiest, simplest word to describe it all. Right now I am typing away in le trendy internet cafe in Times Square, since I still have no phone line and thus no way to get online. But I figured it was finally time to update, so I made my way over here after work.

Cos yes, I am working, but it's a temp job for this week only. Then I'm out of a job again. But I'm actually feeling better.

You see, up until last night, I was very depressed and very down on myself. Moments away from calling it quits and leaving. Perhaps it was due to Mercury's retrograde or something, but that's how I felt. Like I'd failed and I couldn't make it like I thought I could.

It took the helpful advice of a new friend of mine up here, as well as galivanting all over the city at midnight, to realize that I hadn't even given it a chance. I haven't even been here two weeks. Though god, god, it feels like I've already been here for months. This place is unbelieveable, but I do fully realize that it's not for the faint of heart. I took the advice of those up here who told me to prepare myself to be blasted, but I didn't take it fully enough. These past twelve days have been a strain on even my coping skills.

But I'm still here, and I think I've finally managed to pull myself up out of the depression that was very very tangiable only a few hours before. Because I made the realization that this will not work unless I make it work. This is not a place where I can coast. If I want to be here, I have to want to be here. And slowly I'm pulling myself to the point where I do.

Thus ends my update for today. If I can brave the cold (and oh! it's finally snowed! it was wonderful, and words cannot grasp just how much so.) I'll try to get out here later this week to update again. Goodnight everybody, and keep sending those happy-thought vibes.

21 January 2003 at 5:48 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

…I will be in New York city. I'm very excited. Very nervous. But excited all the same and nonetheless.

It's a big, big deal. And this is my goodbye, for the time being. I'll be back when things settle down a bit. I promise.

And I'll be back with lots of touristy New York pictures and adventures. Mwah.

Good luck kids. I love you guys.

8 January 2003 at 11:49 pm | No Comments »
hear ye!

• Natalie Imbruglia
  ("White Lilies Island")
  You need to download Flash if you see this message.

everyday's the same
I feel them merge
I try to separate
resist the urge
but they tell me
I'll be fine
that it will all get better
just try to write it down
or put it in a letter
but the words won't play
and there's no
easy way to say
goodbye, goodbye

keep my head on straight
and don't look down
with all I've pushed away
I'm losing ground
but they tell me
I'll be fine
that it will all get better
just try to write it down
or put it in a letter

but the words won't play
and there's no
easy way to say
goodbye, goodbye

and from the sidelines
watch me fall down

and I don't understand
the things I do
but I'll probably be fine
as long as I keep moving
I'll try to write it down
so things just keep improving

still the words won't play
cos there's no
easy way to say
goodbye, goodbye

8 January 2003 at 5:01 am | No Comments »
soundtrack

Yeah, the nervousness hit me this morning. I had been smiling and somehow withstanding it, but I got slammed right in the nose with it this morning.

And as a testiment to how stressed-out I've become, I started chewing my nails again. And within like a day, they're whittled down to a point where it hurts to type on the keyboard. Sigh.

But that's not to say I'm not happy or excited, because I am. Just. Nervous. And I figure I've got every right to be.

And in other news, a few days ago I decided to repierce my ears. But I've got to be careful, because if I don't carry myself a certain way, and make sure to dress a certain way, people are gonna look at me and think, "white trash."

Cos my ghetto-homie factour went up by like, fifty points with the addition of these earrings.

And I fit the profile.

Because I'm white. And pale. And walk with a scowl.

And now. I have gold in my ears. Eh.

5 January 2003 at 7:13 pm | No Comments »
introspection

So I worked on this &#@*(!% thing all night, took the time to upload all the original entries from the pre-Roommate drama age, and then when I go to upload the new stuff, it doesn't work right. So I cried for a bit, screamed, threw my laptop at the wall and then cried as I reglued its various parts, and then just said "screw it!" and uploaded all the new stuff.

I figure maybe I'll throw up a new site and directory and put the old entries there. But until then you just have to suffer with the hole in my archives/life.

Anyway, the layout's done. One of my more complicated ones, and verymuchthankyous to Liz who completely did the frames for me, and thank you to deviantart for the image. Also thank you to the person who created it.

I am finally getting off my ass and starting to pack. It's kindof weird doing it, because I've been here almost two months. And so much has changed. Like time kindof slowed down while I was here (which it really did) to let me squeeze in a fuckload of experience in just a tiny space of time.

David was fond of telling me that my writing was always best whenever I was miserable. Perhaps he was right, and perhaps this decision to move to the best possible city to experience misery was some subconscious projection of that. Cos I'm damn sure that my writing will be stellar in that case.

Saturday Night Live just started. And I grinned. Cos next week I can freaking watch this in person.

4 January 2003 at 11:26 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

For New Year's I went out for dinner at approximately eleven PM, and made it back home just in time to watch the ball drop in Times Square. And I smiled, cos I said to myself "next year, I won't have to watch that from television." Then the rest of the night was a marathon of Sex and the City, which I just (honestly) happened to find on the tv.

Folks. I've never had HBO before. I've never seen any episode of this show before. So imagine my surprise when I discovered seven hours' worth of it in front of me.

That show is damn funny.

Though unfortunately I broke all protocal and slept until eight-thirty today. Sigh.

1 January 2003 at 9:19 pm | No Comments »
the daily things