Well, it took me for goddamn ever, but I'm finally here to update what's happened in the nearly two weeks since I arrived in New York City.

It's been hectic. That's the easiest, simplest word to describe it all. Right now I am typing away in le trendy internet cafe in Times Square, since I still have no phone line and thus no way to get online. But I figured it was finally time to update, so I made my way over here after work.

Cos yes, I am working, but it's a temp job for this week only. Then I'm out of a job again. But I'm actually feeling better.

You see, up until last night, I was very depressed and very down on myself. Moments away from calling it quits and leaving. Perhaps it was due to Mercury's retrograde or something, but that's how I felt. Like I'd failed and I couldn't make it like I thought I could.

It took the helpful advice of a new friend of mine up here, as well as galivanting all over the city at midnight, to realize that I hadn't even given it a chance. I haven't even been here two weeks. Though god, god, it feels like I've already been here for months. This place is unbelieveable, but I do fully realize that it's not for the faint of heart. I took the advice of those up here who told me to prepare myself to be blasted, but I didn't take it fully enough. These past twelve days have been a strain on even my coping skills.

But I'm still here, and I think I've finally managed to pull myself up out of the depression that was very very tangiable only a few hours before. Because I made the realization that this will not work unless I make it work. This is not a place where I can coast. If I want to be here, I have to want to be here. And slowly I'm pulling myself to the point where I do.

Thus ends my update for today. If I can brave the cold (and oh! it's finally snowed! it was wonderful, and words cannot grasp just how much so.) I'll try to get out here later this week to update again. Goodnight everybody, and keep sending those happy-thought vibes.

Entry last modified: April 17, 2006 at 12:46 pm.

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