I got a call right at eleven on the dot, from the woman at the bakery, the job I've applied and interview for, and waited two weeks for. She left a message. I called back.

Then proceeded to run up and down eighth avenue screaming like a freak.

You might've seen it on the news.

I got the job. She wants me to start immediately. I don't know how things will be with this readjustment, since it means I'll be switching from weekly cheques to bi-weekly cheques, and I'll have no money for the next two weeks, but I think I'll figure out a way. I mean, I always do.

I'm so fucking estatic. Don't let my blase tone fool you.

30 April 2004 at 11:33 am | No Comments »
the daily things

• Apocalyptica, feat. Matthias Sayer
  ("Hope vol. 2 - Single")
  You need to download Flash if you see this message.

Hope is beauty
personified
at her feet, the world
hypnotized

a million flashes
a million smiles
and on the catwalk
she flaunts her style

but in this heart of darkness
our Hope lies lost and torn
all fame like love is fleeting
when there's no hope anymore

pain and glory
hand in hand
a sacrifice
the highest price

like the poison in her arm
like a wisper, she was gone
like when angels fall

and in this heart of darkness
our Hope lies on the floor
all love like fame is fleeting
when there's no hope anymore

like a poison in her arm
like a wisper, she was gone
like an angel
angels fall

29 April 2004 at 6:55 pm | No Comments »
soundtrack

So I got a call back, she asked me for references, so I guess that's a good sign.

They flipped my hours around at work now so that I have to go in an hour earlier, but at least I leave an hour earlier as well, so I have more daylight hours to do my own things.

I'm revamping my schedule, my hair, my room, my life. But right now I'm delerious with sleep-desire, so I shall disappear.

28 April 2004 at 9:07 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

Part of:

Confessional (the Skytrain Girl)
Confessional (Addendum)
Remnant

27 April 2004 at 6:47 pm | No Comments »
introspection, shutterbugs

I think the interview went well.

I spoke with the one woman who I've been talking to forever, and she seemed very happy to meet me in person. I borrowed one of Jake's dress shirts and ties because I have none of my own, and I looked hella snazzy. The part I'm caught on is her partner, the guy, who I at first was convinced was homosexual and I still think he is despite the fact that he mentioned a "girlfriend."

He was harder to read, and I just hope her bubbling excitement over me was enough to convince him, since he's never really spoken with me before.

As part of the interview process she made me take a special type of personality test called the Kolbe Test, which I'd never heard of before but ended up being pretty interesting. It's a test designed to show how you instinctively respond to a situation and thus determine what situations you will best excel at.

It was actually damn near accurate as far as I was concerned. One specific point was, "Avoid stress by alerting others that you are likely to wait until the last minute, but WILL meet the deadline." That's definitely me.

So she said she'd call me either tomorrow or thursday to let me know their decision. I'll expect something by thursday, since she got back to me right when she said she would last time, but who knows. Maybe they've already decided.

After being there today I decided I really wanted the job. I really would like a real title, in a real company, with real duties and real people, and real healthcare. That would make me happy.

Otherwise I'll make good on my promise X many years ago to move to Canada.

27 April 2004 at 4:14 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

I forgot to share that I have an in-person interview with this company tomorrow. It will be a 7000.00 a year raise, plus full benefits and a new title. I'm crossing fingers, toes, arms, legs.

26 April 2004 at 6:14 pm | 1 Comment »
hear ye!

Even though I wrote this a while ago, and the experience was even further away, I finally have my old journals back in my possession so I can type verbatim what happened that night.

7.22.2001 - Sunday
11:28 PM (Vancouver time)

Things haven't been very good lately. We took the Skytrain again last night, and that's really when hell broke loose. There was extremely evil energy on it last night. Right after we got on, a girl took a seat near us. She looked haunted. Dried makeup, puffy, tear-filled eyes; she was an utter mess. There was something about her that I connected with, and during the whole ride I was using my empathy to console her. Then Kent started acting weird.

First, we got off one station sooner than normal. When I asked Kent why, he said he wanted to take another bridge back. So as we were walking, I told him that there was bad energy around. His response was, "We'll send our prayers to her."

"Who?"

"The girl on the train."

So that's when I started to lose it. I kept asking him how he knew I was talking about her, and he kept giving me bullshit answers. So I got mad and we walked the whole way back in silence. He also made us take a different road than normal. And since then, he's been extremely distant and closed off from me.

Sigh.

I can't help but wonder if he's tired of me being here. He's not the Kent I used to know, I don't think.

Part of:

Confessional (the Skytrain Girl)
Confessional (Addendum)
Remnant

26 April 2004 at 6:01 pm | No Comments »
introspection

I think my body chose 12:18 AM, a full 24 hours after I stopped drinking, to get hungover.

I can't win.

24 April 2004 at 12:18 am | No Comments »
bitching

Last night Jake made me go out again. This time we went to Stonewall.

I don't know why I agree to go out anywhere with anybody. I'm antisocial and I never have a good time and the only way I say anything at all is if I'm so drunk that everyone looks hot.

Anyway, we went, and I'm there all of fifteen minutes when who should walk through the doors but one of the worst random sexual encounters I've ever had. It was fate, because he lives in upstate New York, so I was pissed that of all the nights I'd decide to go out would coincide with him being there as well.

So I politely ignored him and talked to Jake, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Ex-hookup's frightened recognition of me, and then he spent a good portion of the evening intellegently avoiding me.

Then at some point a cute boy asked me to dance with him, so I went to dance with him, and I was very gentlemanly and did nothing but touch his hips, and after two songs he smiled and said he had to go to the bathroom and he'd be right back.

And then he promptly disappeared. I mean, seriously folks. Gone. Poof. I saw him once in another part of the club and he saw me and turned away like a frightened puppy.

I don't get boys.

What made it worse is that at around 12:30 he left the club with Ex-hookup.

Frown.

But they were throwing cds into the sound-system and flashing lyrics on the screen a la piano-bar, and Jake made me sing a song, so I picked Foolish Games by Jewel cos I like the song and I know I sound fucking fantastic singing it, and I was apparently right because I got a standing ovation from the people in the bar and apparently some cute twinks were going upstairs to bring other people down to hear me.

It made me feel better, because I'm trying to convince myself to get back into the groove of playing music in front of people again, especially since that's what I told myself I came to New York to do.

I guess I've still got it.

23 April 2004 at 2:44 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

I'll write again, since I think time stopped again around 1:40, and I am now blissfully and blessedly alone in my office.

And suddenly out of things to write about.

22 April 2004 at 4:36 pm | No Comments »
the daily things