I want to update. Believe me, I really do.

It's just that the roommate situation is so rapidly spiraling out of control and into something frightening and right now all my reserve energy is on the battle line and I'm too irritated to keep delving back into this shit.

So I'll do my best to recap the events so far.

A week or so back Cunt calls Jake and I in to let us know she's moving out of the apartment. Jake feigned shock and awe and I have to nominate him for an Oscar, whereas I was like, "Okay, can you talk a little faster so I can go put an ad up for the room?" And as a friend later remarked, when I told him the news and his feeling was, "Well gee, where are all the fireworks? I thought you'd be excited." I said, "I'm too busy uploading pictures of the apartment to craigslist to light a fuse."

So she said she was leaving on the eighth and I spared myself from fighting with her over the fact that no, she was not, she was leaving the first or the fifteenth. I mean what the fuck. NOBODY moves into a new apartment on the eighth of a month. You can't just grab some arbitrary date out of the air and say this is what I want, when your late ass rent cheque only covers you to the first of the month anyway.

I hoped that this would be the end of her, that she'd use her remaining two weeks to hide and lick her wounds because I, as always, have won, and she'd just generally stay the fuck out of my way.

I was so, so wrong.

Her first problem was that I put an ad up for the apartment so quickly. I don't know what she expected but apparently she was hurt that I wasted no time. Sit on it fucker, I want you gone.

Her second problem was that I advertised the room as available for the first, not the eighth as she expected she could saunter out on. As I explained to her via voicemail after she yelled at Jake on the phone for an hour (because when I do something she has a problem with, she doesn't call me, she calls Jake. when I leave her a message, she calls Jake back immediately and complains that I'm talking to her, yet she won't speak to me about anything that I do which he has nothing to do with.) as she'd only paid until the first of the month that was all she was good for. If we were able to find a roommate comfortable moving in on the eighth then she could pro-rate the rent, otherwise if she wanted to stay later she had to pay to the fifteenth, or she wasn't getting a security deposit back.

And that, the last one, is her current problem. For a day she freaked out at the landlord, yelling about how I told her I wasn't giving her the security deposit back. I really thought she was psychotic and insane until I had a flash of intuition and realized what, exactly, she's trying to do. And now I hate her, yes, hate, all the more.

You see, seniors and senioritas, Cunt still hasn't paid for any of the bills yet. She told Jake that she didn't want to pay them because she's been in and out of the apartment all month and doesn't feel that she owes us money for the bills. To which he and I both replied a big "too bad," because when he went to Brazil for two weeks a few months ago he didn't ask for any electric, phone, gas or cable pro-ration. Etc. So we told her tough. She disagrees.

So she badgered the landlord into saying when she moved out he'd give her back her security deposit, despite the fact that she gave the money to me, not the landlord, and Jake and I could reimburse him with the deposit from the new roommate. I don't know what but I really was oblivious to her motive until this. I just thought she was fucking psycho.

But the fact of it is she's trying to get out with her full deposit and leave Jake and I with her 150.00 share of this month's bills and her very likely 150.00 share of next month's bills which she's also responsible for. Because she knows that I'm going to take that money straight out of her deposit.

However, Sunday we found a new roommate. She's a girl, and I know I said I wouldn't live with those things anymore, but both Jake and I really like her. And if that fails, we're all signing an agreement going into this so that the Cunt situation will never repeat itself. If nothing else I've learned a valuable lesson. You bitches are wack.

The landlord was only giving Cunt her deposit back because he was worried we wouldn't find someone in time, because he saw the rudeness in Cunt giving us less that two week's notice (okay, three if you allow the fact that she wanted to leave on the eighth. ::rolls eyes.::) before leaving. But now that we have he said he wouldn't give her any money, and it's with great joy that I will write her a cheque myself.

And she needs to fucking pray that I don't put a stop-payment on it for all the times she's written me bad ones.

27 July 2004 at 9:41 am | 1 Comment »
the daily things

I'm not even bothering to comment on how I don't update anymore.

The roommate drama is continuing. Will probably be continuing until she leaves on the first. I'm so through with her, I wish she was leaving tonight.

I had my first le docteur visit under my own insurance monday. It was exciting. woo. He took my blood and ran tests and I found out yesterday that I'm HIV -, which is good to know since I was a bit behind on my checkup.

I've had Grey by Ani Difranco on repeat at work since monday. That's the best way I can describe how I feel lately.

I dunno, it gives me a headache. To have everything that should make me happy and not be satisfied with any of it. If I'm dating somebody I want to be single. If I'm single I want to be dating somebody. I have a job I hate and wait and struggle for a new and better one and once I get that I want to go someplace else. I look for excuses and reasons to change things after one thing I don't like. It drives me crazy.

And I apparently can't stop it.

Nobody makes me happy. No thing makes me happy. There's always someone else I'm sure I'm about to meet who'll change things. There's always one more possession to buy and I'll never want anything else.

But then I get those things and the most devistating thing of all is not that they don't exist, but they do, and I can't make them into what they need to be to make me happy.

Fucked up is a state of mind I'm well aquainted with.

22 July 2004 at 10:04 am | 1 Comment »
introspection

today's kent's birthday.

20 July 2004 at 11:39 pm | No Comments »
hear ye!

Oh, update.

I won.

Landlord called back yesterday. She finally paid rent, allegedly, a week late, and after he shifted back and forth on the issue of evicting her (he doesn't wanna get involved really, despite how she never pays rent, cos apparently he hates confrontations), I laid it out for him.

"Listen, I can't speak for Jake, but I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. All I can say is if she doesn't leave soon, I'm leaving, especially with what she did this weekend. I won't tolerate this, and I won't live with it anymore."

I guess that got to him because no sooner had I said those words than he replied with, "Okay, let me make sure her cheque clears so she can't put a stop on it, then I'll tell her to leave."

Don't fuck with the Frostman.

6 July 2004 at 12:20 pm | 1 Comment »
bitching

So how was your fourth of July?

Well my cat gave birth while the police were over.

Why were the police over? What, you don't call them when your pussy is bleeding?

No, I joke. ha ha. It's so funny.

The Cunt Roommate, as she will henceforth be known (I have stripped her of her friendly pat-on-the-shoulder nominer), once again failed to pay the rent on time. Despite being warned by the landlord that if she didn't, she'd be out. So in retaliation against me, since it was apparently my fault that she spends all of her money on alcohol instead of paying her bills, she and/or her boyfriend (it still isn't entirely known) took it upon themselves to vandalize my property Friday night in various ways throughout the apartment, and then disappear for the weekend.

I was livid to a state of constipation. And that's putting it nicely.

So she came home at 3 am-ish on Saturday, drunker than fuck if fuck could be drunk, and we apparently had differing opinions over whether it was the best time to discuss her disgusting financial situation and subsequent illegal activity. So we got into a fight, she yelled like the white trash bitch she is (despite all her Upstate New York WASP-esqua), and proceeded to call the police.

Why?

Well once they got there, she claimed I beat her up. Let's throw aside for a moment the fact that she was bruise-less ("Oh, I heal quickly," was what she said when the police officer asked about them, or their lack.), and point out that she's 5'11 and I'm 5'8. And probably thirty pounds lighter than her. And that the entire fight took place in front of Jake and C.S., and both of them also failed to be aware of me striking her. As it were, she shoved me several times, so if I had decided to beat the shit out of her it would've been self defense.

The police, thankfully, also saw that she was irate and drunk whereas I was calm and polite despite having cat placenta all over me. She went off for several minutes, bitching and screaming at the cops, while I and my roommate explained what'd happened. It was a night.

In the middle of all of this, (De)Mona the Cat was squirting out chillins. The first one died unfortunately which perturbed me extremely since it died right in front of the police sergeant, and being as it was the first kitten I worried as to the state of the remaining ones. I guess she was freaked out with all the people and screaming because she didn't give birth to another one for nearly three hours later, but that one thankfully was alive and crying. The damn cat has about as much motherly instinct as me, because just as soon as it was out she was running around the house cleaning herself up and hissing.

I had to cut two of the cats out of their sacks because she wouldn't touch them at all and they were in danger of not breathing. I also had to cut them from the umbillical cords and clean that mess up because she also wouldn't have anything to do with it. All in all she gave birth to three live kittens. The third was the only one she took care of herself, but then she turned on her side, let them nurse, and promptly fell asleep.

The entire episode lasted from 11 PM to 7 AM, and all cats were born on July 4th. Pictures will follow soon.

And as far as the roommate goes, I've already called the landlord, and I've already disconnected various utilities that she was using which she will no longer have access to any longer. I've also gone the more directly evil route in certain regards, but I shant discuss them lest I tarnish your god-like image of me.

Rest assured, however, one day, long after she's left my apartment, she'll look back on this and realise that fucking with me was probably the dumbest thing she'd ever done.

5 July 2004 at 4:57 pm | No Comments »
bitching