So I started working at my job six months ago today.

Gosh how time flies.

8 April 2005 at 10:52 pm | No Comments »
hear ye!, the daily things

Sometimes people who don't deserve shit somehow end up getting crap that they completely haven't earned… what'd they do for the Pope in a past life? Fuck!

7 April 2005 at 11:39 pm | No Comments »
bitching

I read tarot cards a few days ago for the first time in a while. I like to do it, I find something strangely cathartic and soothing in tossing around a deck haphazardly and randomly pulling pretty pictures that somehow manage to constantly surprise me with their relevance.

I believe in them, needless to say.

So I was tossing them around for a while, reflecting on why I'm having so much trouble doing music, despite the fact that that's why I came up to New York. So I shuffled, I thought, I cut the deck, I introspected, I pulled a card. Two of Wands, which means, interestingly quoted by my guide:

"Again a card of success, even greater than the Three, for here a man stands in a castle and holds the world in his hands. Yet the card does not carry the same contentment as the Three. He is bored; his accomplishments have only served to wall him in (a situation very unpleasant to Fire), and the world he holds is a very small one. It suggests that the Wands' love of battle and challenge can leave one with no real satisfaction in actual accomplishments when the fight has been won. Comparison with the Four (as well as the Ten) is obvious. There several people dance together, out from a walled city. Here one person stands alone, walled in by his own success."

Which basically blew me away. So I thought about what it meant and I think it's saying… I'm just never satisified with what I've accomplished. It's never enough. I'm not happy writing a song because I want to write a cd; I'm not happy having completed a chapter, much less a plot, because I want the novel. So I get wrapped up in these things I want to accomplish and I'm trampling over the little things I've done which I should be proud of, and I'm discouraged with the lack of progress on the big ones, so I end up getting depressed and doing nothing.

It's a start. I think that this is the case now, and it's better than before when I just thought I had writer's block that'd never end. At least I've got an idea and a direction. Somewhere to go. Something to work on.

So. Tonight I'll play piano.

6 April 2005 at 3:17 pm | No Comments »
introspection

Um, so, looking back at my previous entries to find out where I last left off I see that I actually left off nowhere, because I haven't written in forever and I haven't explained anything in those entries from the Before-time, ooo.

I believe the official latin term for what I am is slack assius.

So, 'splainin. A few months ago L.S. left the company for a cooler position at le chic Epic Records. We (I) were (was) saddened, but Chinese boss didn't miss a stride in replacing her with this uptight guy who I immediately disliked. About this time I was also fed up with things and had given my resignation, effective end of the month. That ended up not being the case however, because the ass-guy quit on the first day and Chinese boss freaked out. Long story short I got a revamped position working no longer as Big Gay Boss' bitch assistant and they hired a cute gay boy.

Whom they fired yesterday.

It did actually come as a surprise to me if not a shock, because I knew he was having trouble with a lot of our bosses' stupidasfuck requests and he had no real background in the travel industry.

Still. It was sad. :/

I'll try to write more. I promise.

5 April 2005 at 5:11 pm | No Comments »
the daily things