I'm here.

I got in late Saturday night. Again, it feels a little odd to be here. Moreso than the last time I visited, close to a year ago.

The most part is that I feel a strange longing, but I don't know what for. A lot of it is this sudden boredom I've got. Last time I visited I had lots of visits planned with lots of people. It's up in the air as to whether or not I'll be seeing half of them this time, but even so this trip I'm here for a few days longer with a lot less to do. Couple that with my lack of a car and I feel more stir-crazy than I did last week after staying home from work the entire time.

C.S. and I got into a pretty big fight as he was driving me to the airport, because I saw a guy last week and ended up getting a hickey. Contrary to how he feels its procurement slipped my mind as the evening wasn't really one of my most favorite, so I forgot to tell him about the date. And he flipped out on me in a grocery store no less, which did nothing to keep me calm, so I lost it when we were back in the car. I honestly don't feel I really need to tell him about any of my dates as we haven't been together for over a year and a half, but I'm fucked one way or the other. If I tell him I'm going on a date he gets sullen and withdrawn and depressed, if I don't he gets sullen and withdrawn and depressed and accuses me of deceiving him.

Then we got into another fight today because he's been passive-aggressively barely talking to me since Saturday and I am pissed over it.

Am I wrong in feeling it's none of his business what I do and he should appreciate I'm so honest with him in the first place when any other ex wouldn't be that way?

It's pouring rain and storming and thundering.

And has anybody else noticed that Tori Amos' new cd is the shittiest piece of crap that ever produced sound?

Entry last modified: April 14, 2006 at 1:57 pm.

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