2005 October | joshuameadows.com

Archive for October, 2005

So I finished writing the first "chapter" of the novel I am working on. Though chapter is incorrect in this sense, but I'm kindof too tired to go into an explaination of why that is just now.

The working title of the novel is "a total stranger one black day," stolen from an ee cummings poem. :P I don't know just yet if it's the one I'm going to keep, but it's still pretty early in the development of this book, y'know?

Anyway, le PDF of the first chapter is linked on the side. More will be posted here when they're finished and I get around to it, bitches.

And since this is also a work in progress, the PDFs obviously are going to change. They shall be reuploaded at such times. I guess I'll need to put up a modifier somewhere so those who read them religiously know when there's a new version. But I totally don't care right now. Anyway. Have fun!! Post comments!!

19 October 2005 at 5:22 am | No Comments »
a total stranger one black day

$Guaranteeing I\'ll never have pesky customers again$

So there is this guy who comes into work towards the afternoon nearly every single day. A coworker of mine and I have nicknamed him simultaneously "Creepy Pedophile Guy" and "Inappropriate Sexual Remark Guy," though coworker of mine uses the first one less than I do, mostly because he doesn't feel hitting on me makes the creepy customer a pedophile. Everybody knows I'm obviously not twelve, even if I look like I am.

I disagree. He's out behind the schoolyard after the bell rings, I know it.

So anyway, I made the horrible mistake some time back of mentioning to him that I thought Vancouver was a lot like NYC in some respects when I was there for a month at 16. He, being Canadian and having lived in Vancouver for some time before coming to NYC, acted as if I SHOT HIS DOG.

So now every time he comes in I am subjected to a slew of comments about the level of drugs I must digest daily to come to such a ridiculous conclusion about a city. He makes these comments regardless of what other customers or managers or coworkers might be standing around, and despite the fact that the other customers want food of their own.

It wouldn't bother me so much if he got more than a single small coffee every time he comes in.

So Monday he brought a friend of his in. Who was visiting. From Vancouver. And he made him come to the restaurant only to tell me that Vancouver is nothing like NYC.

To which I told Inappropriate Sexual Remark Guy, "I really appreciate the attention, but I have a boyfriend." Ha ha, joking inflection.

He got really red and embarrassed and fumbled some comment about how he has kids. I told him I was teasing. He left quickly.

Coworker said, "Wow, do some gay guys like that really not know they're gay and end up having kids?"

"Dude, he doesn't have kids."

18 October 2005 at 8:02 pm | No Comments »
the daily things

I am blood red
and apple
lit underneath with stars I can't remember
memories of anymore–
I am driven to this being as if he's my God
razor punched through-and-through
the holes in my skin let the light out
what could that mean?
I am ill-equipped for the effort to catch the beams;
I feel myself let out

13 October 2005 at 12:42 am | No Comments »
poetry/prose

A few days ago my roommate (another one nick-name-less, so let's call him J.P. because it's late and I'm uncreative) and I braved the first NYC flood of the year to head to Virgin Megastore in Union Square at 10:30 PM after watching the new Wallace and Gromit movie. Which was very cute, by the way.

The purpose of this field trip was to pick up the Battlestar Galactica series one DVD set.

You see, this is a secret pleasure that J.P. has brought me to. I am absolutely in love with the show. And you know me, I'm not one to wax poetically over television.

Only having seen the original in repeats and being unimpressed, I'm surprised at how well the remake is. The dark psychology of it all, the stressful drama. As I told him I guess it's the mark of a good show if every episode makes me feel sick to my stomach and depressed afterward.

You should all go watch it.

I wrote my first poem today in like. Forever. And I'm almost finished with "chapter one" of my novel at long last.

It's taken its sweet-ass time but I guess the creativity is finally coming back to my brain.

13 October 2005 at 12:38 am | No Comments »
the daily things

A few months ago I discovered that Matt Katz finally released the CD he'd been working on forever when I met him. The title of it had changed as well as the tracklist, but bits of it were familiar to what he'd played for me in the brief time I'd known him.

It made my head swim to hear him play again, a rush back towards what was a whirlwind in and of itself– my first few months in NYC when I moved here.

So it took me until this weekend to make sense enough of things to write him an email.

To which he replied nicely, followed by an invitation today for a concert he's performing at on the 15th.

When we "broke up," he told me the reasoning was because he was 23 and I was 18, and I was going to go through a lot emotionally and mentally in the time it took me to reach his age, and he didn't want to interfere with it. I told him that I knew it wasn't true, all my mental development had happened before I met him, but he didn't change his mind.

Now, a month before that birthday I can look back and say that I'm right. Nothing that happened between now and then was so earth-shattering that he would've changed it.

Nevertheless I deleted the invitation without a reply. I know enough to know now that I don't want to invite him back into my life.

My laptop's harddrive is in its last death-convulsions. Which will hopefully pull through to the end of the week, giving me enough time to receive my new harddrive in the mail and transfer all my files over.

And I think C.S. and I got back together again.

http://mattkatz.com

11 October 2005 at 5:17 pm | No Comments »
the daily things