• Charlotte Martin
  ("Darkest Hour - EP")
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waiting I'm
waiting to hold nothing cause
everyone knows nothing's much easier to touch

wanted I
wanted a love
that buries me under his shrug
and no one sees or cares if I'm on my
closet floor
shhh there's something
outside my door
making a little heat
it's getting warm

it said even in the darkest hour you shine

loaded on
layers and coats
try to stand up, oh there I go
down again
god it has been so long
now I am marching in place
pretending to say this all to your face
but you know, my guts they may never come

I shake, shake from holding back
someone's trying to get me back on track from my spiral

I know even in the darkest hour we shine
I will save you when no one will ever try
I got answers super-glued under my knees
you know you gotta get me out my room
and off my closet floor
shhh there's something outside my door
making a little heat
you're getting warmer now

even in my darkest hour you shine

29 September 2007 at 5:45 pm | No Comments »
soundtrack

I'd been uploading photos of the apartment to my flickr account but between debates on whether or not I should be linking to those images in this blog or reuploading them and hosting them here (I opted for control) I forgot to do either.

So anyway, here's where I live now.

All that's left is for me to get that TV I decided on and then the move in is ooveeeerrrr.

28 September 2007 at 1:37 am | 2 Comments »
shutterbugs, apartment, blog, flickr

Another Wordpress update, another set of broken plugins. Sigh.

I've been living on my own for three weeks now.

It's weird. It was so much work to get everything set up, both in terms of furniture and in terms of mentally, and now that it's been completely done for a week I don't exactly know how it is I feel. I'm happy about it, no doubt, so, so happy, but still… weird.

So much in my life is racing-acres better than it ever has been before. I don't exactly understand where it came from. Almost two years ago I was broke and out of money, wondering how I would pay rent or eat, and now I'm debating on which 42" HD-TV I want to get. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the development (or gloating,) but I'm just… pleasantly surprised. C.S. was saying a few weeks ago about how proud of me he is and I just didn't feel it. I had to remind him that I might be more excited if any of this had been achieved through any force of will or dedication on my part. No, I'm quite aware that my successes in life have been a series of bumbling happy accidents. Charmed for sure. I'm generally speaking rather lazy in my career and cannot really be motivated all that much work-wise. When I'm doing something I want to do I'm manic about it, but twenty-three years later I still haven't figured out a way to make an exorbitantly living writing half-hearted blog entries or playing video games.

I had more I wanted to write about but it's late and I don't seem to get any sleep anymore. It affects my thought and makes me late for work. I can't keep that up; luck only carries one so far.

26 September 2007 at 1:42 am | 2 Comments »
introspection, apartment, happy accidents, HD TV, wordpress